this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
