hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
