She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
