i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
