Just fell off a train. Bad.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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