Im at strip club and am horny
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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