everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
