I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
