his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
