I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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