I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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