Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
