FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
