I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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