so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have aggressive nipples.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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