Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
