You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
