NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
