I didn't shave. On purpose
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
