just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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