I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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