Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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