Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
