My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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