This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
