brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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