i just wanna soil my oats bro
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
