i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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