i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
