i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
