I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
FUCK WHALES
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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