dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
