he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
