"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
