hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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