And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
