wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
