Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
