Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
