I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
