Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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