So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
