i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
