So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
