It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im holly from the hills drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
