Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
