Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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