i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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