the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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