Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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