my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Oh god it's open bar.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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