Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You just made me feel so damn special
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
